Let the Journey Begin!

Whoa, Monday has come and gone already. I am trying hard to be more intentional about my days here and how I spend them. I often find myself just getting sucked into cleaning and doing that “just this one more thing before I…” mindset and thus never really being very productive outside of having the house look spotless. Life is about SOOO much more than having a clean home and I know God has me in Australia for much bigger things (such as investing in lives!)than just cleaning the house! So I have made a “goals” list for the week that I would like to work on, just short term goals to have accomplished by next Sunday. The goals have to do with a variety of parts of my life from my faith, exploring my new surroundings, improving my health, being intentional about relationships in my life (no matter where in the world the other person is!), employment fun, etc. Believe me it didn’t take long and my list was HUGE –but also realistic (I hope!).



Recently I was chatting to a friend and she was telling me of a book she was reading. She had mentioned the book to me prior to my travels to the other side of the world and I remembered I was interested in it then but had pushed that thought to the side. Most of you who know me know I love a good book but I often don’t prioritize reading over other hobbies or tasks in my life so it takes me ages to actually finish one. I am the queen of reading multiple books at the same time thus causing it to take even longer to them. Have no fear; this is a goal on my week’s goal list! Read a chapter from each of the books I am currently reading (2 books at the moment soon to be 3)! So any who, I got the book and have started to read it, the book is called, “Women, Food and God,” interesting enough hey! We will see how I go. My friend told me it was really good, not a diet book or something you read to lose 10 pounds in a week and a half or anything like that but rather seeks to look at the reasons behind your eating and how that ties into your world views, etc. well that is my understanding of it anyways. We will see how it goes.


On my list this week are related to living out a healthier lifestyle I have two goals. One goal is to start my workout routine and the other is to create a week menu of our meals in the house! Although losing weight is desired it is not the purpose of these goals. I don’t want to do these things to lose a magic number of pounds but more to make healthier life style choices, feel physically better, to be a healthier person in general-ultimately the goal is respect my body as the temple that it is.


So let the journey begin to a life style change! Not a diet and not a situation of this is what I did when I was in Australia but a change that will have an impact and follow me through life! I am not saying it is going to be an easy one but it is one I must be choose to be intentional about. So today I started my journey. Today I started something I like to refer to as “Dates with Jillian!” It was my plan to use two of Jillian’s work out videos (no gym needed and a onetime only fee!) alternating them every other day, however one is in DVD format so I will only be able to use the one I purchased on iTunes (bugger!). To be honest with you the first time I did the video wanted so badly to give up on the whole process within 10 minutes of the first video…Jillian is tough! I have read blogs and other reviews and have found encouragement in the fact that if you make it through the first 3-4 days your body will be okay! I did my first session with Jillian today and I was quite proud of how well I did…we will see what I feel like in the morning!


Instead of alternating the videos as I was going to do I am now going to use a beginners training schedule to prepare for a 5K run! I had told a few friends that when I return to the states I would like to participate in a 5K and one of my friends response was why are you waiting? Good question! No reason really. Today I found a few 5K runs that are nearby that I can potentially participate in…however they are in December and January…that’s not far away! We will see how I go and if perhaps I might find a friend along the way that wants to do a 5K with me.


The other plus is that I am in a situation where I am responsible for much of the food that is eaten in this house! Therefore, I have the opportunity to make healthy food choices and can’t use the excuse of living in someone else’s as a reason to eat poorly. So I will be making weekly menus for dinners and my lunches. This was something I used to do in Colorado and find it fun to plan the meals as well as a good way to not just grab something easy (and typically much more unhealthy) to pop on the stove. If you have any suggestions of recipes I would be more than happy if you would be willing to share them (especially crock pot recipes)!!


So that is why I am writing this all on here! If I make it public I hopefully will have some accountability! (I hope to post about how I am going.) I hope perhaps this will be used to encourage someone else in their journey! If you have any tips or suggestions in making the journey to a living out a healthier life style I would love to hear them!

Ramblings on Identity

Below are some rough, not very fluid thoughts. I am finding quite difficult to fully explain what I want to say but perhaps someone will understand just a glimpse of what I am trying to say.


Have you ever pondered the following questions?


What is my true identity?


Where do I honestly look to find my identity?


Really if someone asked you who you are what would you say? How do you respond when someone asks you tell them about yourself-who you truly are? I am positive I have been asked this question in a variety of ways throughout my life and I am even more certain as seasons have changed in my life the answer has changed as well. However, I am not so certain that I have ever provided anyone with an absolute honest answer.


Even if you think of the different social networking sites and what one writes in the “about me” portion of those…do the words written there truly describe who you are? Do they give an authentic picture of who you are or rather are they meant there meant to impress or illustrate the person you want to be or do they simply describe what you do for an occupation or identify you according to your location on this earth verses who you are at the core?


Reflecting back during my time in Colorado I remember thinking to myself if anyone asked me today who I am I would say I am a teacher, that would be the first thing that would come out of my mouth and quite frankly often still is. Back then I might have added something to the effect that I am a friend, a sister and daughter from a distance and I am a Christian. Thinking back now I remember how that bothered me that I would say I am a teacher and that would be the first thing…not that there is anything wrong with being a teacher…but I desired for my life to be more than just a teacher.


I have always been known as the mother hen of the family and always known I would be a teacher. Honestly thinking about other occupations I have no idea what I would do if I wasn’t a teacher. But am I really just one dimensional, a teacher and only a teacher? So often I have allowed all of who I am to be wrapped around what I have chosen as my professional career, what I do, what I say, how I act and interact with others, etc.


Obviously, I didn’t really deal with God’s prodding on my heart while in Colorado but have felt him continuing to pull back the layers and soften my heart the idea of where my identity truly lies throughout for some time. I found my entire life has been wrapped up in the process of becoming and being a teacher and the fact that it was what people expected of me. However, at this present time I want so badly to get out of the “typical” teaching world and use my education in a related way, however, every time I search the possibilities I return back to the classroom.


I am currently experiencing a state of disequilibrium in the direction of where my life is going. There is a strong desire to push myself out of my comfort zone and a stirring in my heart into to get out of traditional teaching and find a job where I can use my education background in a variety of other ways (working with the homeless, refugees, conducting trainings, etc) while still having balance in my life between work and life, relationships outside of work. But more so than any other desire is the desire to find what God has planned for me and not to follow my own selfish ambitions. However, I continually find myself left feeling frustrated and defeated as feel like I just am going around and around in circles. As I search for even just a casual part time job I always land back in the “education” section, while feeling prompted to set it aside for some time as I allow it to consume my life. I find myself missing the classroom as I love to teach but hate what it means for all other aspects of my life. It is my belief that part of God’s purpose of having me here, in Australia at this time, is to find my identity in HIM and at some point he will shed a bit more light on the path for the next step.


Over the past few months God has gently been speaking to me and asking me to allow him to help me discover the deeper depths of my identity far beyond a career choice, physical location, denomination of the church I am attending, relationship status or my favorite food or color. He has been softening my heart to open up to him and allow me to honestly look at my life, to go back to the basics to discover what my life looks like as His daughter, loved and desired by the Father! What does it truly look like to be the daughter of the King of Kings, what does it mean to live waking each morning knowing that the God that created everything in all of creation is on my side and how does that change who I am and how I live. How does that change where I place my identity? How does truly placing my identity in Christ instead of my career choice, physical location, relationship status, etc. change how I act and think from moment to the next?

Whirl Wind of Emotions

The past two weeks have been a bit of a whirl wind-let’s just be honest. There have been some big emotions on both ends of the spectrum. That in its self is quite exhausting.



Seeing everyone back in Geelong was fantastic and made me realize how much I missed the place. Okay maybe not the place as much as the people! I did miss both though! I quickly realized I missed the openness of the country compared to always being surrounded by buildings in the city.



The people I know in Geelong are amazing and made me feel so much at home again as if I had never left. I constantly think how blessed I have been to have these people in my life, even though oceans separate us; literally, they have continued to be a huge part of my support system and life. I certainly cherish each of them and consider them to be family! Only God can form a bond strong enough to have four years of limited communication (random emails here and there and maybe a card once and a while) and when we see each other again still be completely comfortable being exactly who you are; without any hesitations we pick up right where we left off. As I prepared for my return to Australia I often wondered how my relationships with friends here would be different, attempting to prep myself for them to be very different knowing each person's life has had many changes since the last time we were together. Time and time again, I was in awe as these people loved me just where I was at and we mutually understood each other had many life experiences over the past years that have had major impacts on our lives but that wouldn't change that we are friends!



Thank you, Jesus for the Australian family I have! Time and time again you bless me through their words of encouragement, fellowship with them and how they challenge me! Help me to be a servant in their life to bless and encourage them as well. Amen



When I returned to Hawthorn, I was high on emotion from seeing everyone in Geelong. I felt refreshed! I had an evening to myself before the realities of being back would settle in, house cleaning and the children would be back that evening! I was excited to see the children; it had been five days without them. I soon saw the realities of a broken family come into light, I had seen them in the classroom setting but never to the full extent of the comfort of a child's own home. I realized the children don't say they have a "home" they have mummy's house or daddy's house...neither of which they call home. How sad is that.



Upon their arrival Wednesday night, the children, were emotionally a mess, screaming and crying no matter what you did. They were afraid and had so many uncertainties. They had a fear of their mom leaving again (she had gone overseas while they were with their father), concerned about how long I would be there and when they would get the next nanny, and wondering when they were going to move house again. The poor things are so broken and have lacked stability for some time now; they are just anticipating the next change. It breaks my heart to see them be so uncertain of the core parts of their life that should be the most stable. Nothing against the parents by any means, they are doing the best they know how to with their situation and are working together to try to make their children's lives more stable (which not the case in many situations like this).



God just continued to break my heart for these children throughout the weekend. To try to understand where they are coming from and to be gentle with them, provide them with the love and assurance they need. To fill their lives with grace and mercy as they cry and scream at me not because of what I have done but because they just are hurting and are trying to express their pain. They need and long for structure and consistency in their lives. I know God has me during this season for a purpose...and I think a major part of this purpose is to love on these kids! May God grant me the strength, grace, mercy and wisdom needed to love on these kiddos and be a light in their dark place. May they see Jesus love and light shining through my interactions with them!


This past week I was also blessed by a touching card (love mail!!) from a dear friend this past week that just pierced my heart with gratitude and quite frankly made me cry. I am so grateful for her and our friendship that God has blessed us with. Another friendship that you know is only from God himself! She has played and continues to play such a significant role in my life! Always encouraging me, challenging me in my walk with the Lord and challenging me to love others as Jesus himself would. It reminded me of how much I have been blessed with dear friends and family, each playing a significant role in my life. These friends are spread across the globe but are people I can call on for wisdom and prayer as well as a good laugh or cry! This made me realized how much I missed everyone back home but at the same time how extremely grateful I am to be here, where God has me right now!

God has been teaching me a lot about love as of late. The other day I heard the song, ‘Choose You,’ by Stan Walker, while making dinner. The song is obviously about a man choosing to stay and love his girl no matter what; however, I think one can easily generalize the message to their other relationships.

The song made me stop in my tracks as I listened to the lyrics and I can't get over it...how true it is. Love is not just a feeling it is a choice. We make a choice to love our friends, family, husbands, wives, sons and daughters, co-workers, and mere strangers each day whether we are happy, sad, angry or delighted, giddy or depressed to love others is a choice we make moment by moment each step of our day.




The song reminded me of what God is teaching me about and how often I fail to choose to love people placed in my path. I am currently reading the book, "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan. In the book Chan writes:



“This is the God we serve, the God who knew us before He made us. The God who promises to remain with us and rescue us. The God who loves us and longs for us to love Him back.
So why, when we constantly offend Him and are so unlovable and unloving, does God persist on loving us?"


Good question hey! Doesn't that just make you sit in awe of our creator, our Father, our Savior. He chooses to love me when I choose to run away from him oh so often. And better yet he chooses to love us and desire us, pursue us when he doesn't need us-He is God, can do anything and everything without us, so why does he chase after us and love us so much? I don't know that is the amazing thing about Him, he chooses to, he chooses us and loves us as his sons and daughters.

 So if this is the example God sets for us, he chooses to love humanity when we routinely choose to run away from him; as Christ followers are we not to daily die to ourselves and the hurts and pains that we have experienced from others and love them no matter what they have done, no matter what turmoil, pain and suffering they have put us through. Yes, we are, we are to make our mind up each morning when we wake up and choose to act in love. To go the extra step to love our family and friends, co-workers and strangers that God has placed before us. We are to choose to love those that are the toughest to love.



As I write I am continually reminded of how often I fail to love those in my life. Instead I have chosen to hold a grudges against them, to have bitter feelings towards and anger towards them. I am reminded of how often I fail to love those who are easy to love let alone those who I find difficult to love. Love is an action, a choice and so often I fail at making the correct one.

May God's grace and mercy continue to pour over each of us as He continues to work in our hearts and molds us into people who delight in loving others no matter what the circumstance. May we continue to walk with Him and grow more in love with Him. Amen!

Home Away from Home: The Tour

I have made a post with a tour of my new place in Hawthorn. It took me quite a while to upload all the pictures, etc. So I am just going to direct you to check it out if you like at my other blog, Making Memories in Melbourne, which I think most of you who may follow this know about. I have been posting basically the same on both blogs, with more personal information on this blog, as my former students have access to the other blog and at times refer to more personal information on here. 

Getting There...is a Process

My feet are starting to get grounded on the other side of the big pond; however, I was beginning to question whether or not I would actually make it, or at least really make it on time! The journey started by flying to Denver from Fargo on a little “puddle jumper” plane. I am always a bit leery when I have fly through Denver as I have always had delays…well this flight was no different, I had a delay arriving and leaving Denver. We were held in the air over Nebraska due to weather. The pilot politely came on and told us they were expecting to have to hold for half an hour and if the weather hadn’t cleared we would have to divert to Grand Junction but we wouldn’t have enough fuel to get there if they did divert us. Really, did he have to tell us the last part, some people! We were able to land in Denver after holding for only ten to fifteen minutes. By the time I landed I scurried off to the gate for my next flight.


As I found my seat, on my next “puddle jumper” flight to Bakersfield, California, I heard the lady I would sit by for the duration of the flight talking to someone on the phone that was obviously on another plane and told her that they weren’t able to fly out due to weather. UGG! This flight had to take off on time or there is no way I would catch my flight to LA. Needless, to say my needs didn’t trump the order that the flights take off so we too had to sit in line on the tarmac waiting for our turn to take off. 45 minutes later we were in the air. If we were able to make up a little bit of the time we lost I would we would land at the time my next flight was meant to depart. As we approached the end of our flight I contemplated talking to the flight attendant to see if there was any way that they could hold the next plane, knowing the airport I was flying into was the size of Fargo’s if not smaller. I didn’t have the courage to ask as I felt like it might be out of line to ask everyone else on the flight to wait for me to board and cause them to run late. However, another gentleman on the flight was to be on the connecting flight as well and asked…and they said YES!! Unheard of, the third “puddle jumper” plane of my travels waited an extra 10-15 minutes for six of us to board and we were up in the air again. Needless to say I didn’t really have any sort of layovers my entire trip!


I landed in LA with just enough time to grab something to eat on the plane before the boarding process began for my flight to Melbourne via Sydney. We all boarded the plane that was quite full, however, I was looked upon with favor as there were only two of us in a row with four seats-EXTRA LEG ROOM for the 18+ flight! After the doors on the plane were closed and we backed away from the gate we stopped and were informed that we would have to return to the gate to have a “mechanical error” fixed before taking off. An hour or so after we were meant to take off I was in the air on a massive plane, especially if you compare it to the ones I had flown in previously that day. Before we even took off I think I was a sleep! Most of the journey was taken up with much needed sleep.


The rest of my journey was fairly smooth sailing. When we landed in Sydney we all had to get off, do a security check and re-board 45 minutes later for my final flight to Melbourne. All my suitcases arrived with me! I was a bit concerned with the fact that they might have been lost with all the brief layovers. It is quite amazing how all of the luggage gets to the right place most of the time when flying-have a think about that some time it is a bit mind boggling how it all works! Customs went very smoothly, I always fear customs, so this was a great relief! I breathed in my first breath of the Melbourne air on Wednesday, August 11th at 11ish! It was a fantastic feeling to be off the plane and finally here.


I will write within the next few days about the family I am living with and post some photos of the kiddos and our house here.

Making the Jump

I head out this afternoon with my life (well just the material things in it) packed in two suitcases and a carry on! I am filled with mixed emotions as it is very VERY difficult to say good bye to those I love here knowing we all have changed within the year. I will miss you all very much so please do keep in touch. I will try to post pictures of my "see ya laters" when I have some down time in the airports or when I arrive.




I will have 22 hours of flying time and then approximately 4-5 hours of layovers. Not sure how far the drive is to Hawthorn from the airport. Hawthorn is the suburb of Melbourne I will be living in. I am excited to be heading over and getting the journey started! There is a lot of adventures to be had, memories to be made and friendships to create!



Must finish packing my last minute items! Ta ta for now, see ya before we know it!

Update and Your Ideas Are Needed
The time of my departure is fast approaching and I am looking for a gift to give the children that I will be taking care of. I would like to bring them a "true" American toy-but I am uncertain of what that may be. Browsing in the stores I find toys that are very commercial and not unique to America. I have thought of silly putty for M, but not really sure that would work for S, as she is only 2 years old. If you have any thoughts let me know what you think would be some "true American" toys that are small (need to travel in my luggage) that I could give a 2 year old and 4.5 year old? I would appreciate any suggestions!
The the past weeks and these last days state side are filled with work and saying my "see ya laters" (in person and via the phone) to various people I love and play an infulential part in my life. It is certainly a bitter sweet time as I am eagerly anticipating my trip but saddened at the thought of leaving the people I care about here. I wish I could pack you all up in my luggage and take you with! 

I had another big item checked off my list today as I was able to get rid of the "green beast" aka my car. It feels amazing to know my car is dealt with! Let's just say, I was stressed out by the idea of having to sell my car and wondering how it was all going to work out and then well I filled up last week and ended up filling up with contaminated gas. God just reminding me to trust in him and his faithfulness through each step of the journey.

God has shown his face in so many was throughout the journey. It has been such a joy (although at times stressful) to walk through this process! My heart has been reminded of God's faithfulness, grace and mercy time and time again I found myself doubting but softly being reminded to give up all my cares and worries to him. Oh, how freeing it is to place your cares with the Father! 

God has also been teaching me a lot about love this summer. The sermon this past week was a a wonderfully convicting message that lead me to honestly slow down and reflect on the ways I show love to people-those I love and those I have a hard time loving. It was certainly something God has been slowly peeling off layers so that I can see what he sees in my life and an area where much improvement is needed.

I look forward to learning how to love more like Jesus and learning more and more what that means for me in my life. This past year and a half has been filled with many hurts on a variety of levels. I have dealt with many of these issues by putting up walls and holding on to the hurt, bitterness instead of allowing God to work with me and heal it. God is slowly breaking these walls down, and lifting off the blinders over my eyes and heart to see how the walls that have been built not only harm those who hurt me, others around and myself  but also hinder my ability to fully love others as I should- as Jesus loves them.

A couple of dear friends of mine have read the book "Crazy Love" and raved about it. I was eager to read it and I sent it to me for my birthday (in Feb :-( ). I have had very good intentions of just sitting down and reading it but well needless to say I have yet to do so. I am looking forward to seeing how God uses his word, "Crazy Love" and others to speak to me about loving others like Jesus does. So many lessons learned along the journey and I am looking forward to the lessons yet to come as God exposes me to new adventures and new characteristics of him self!

A shout out to my family! I have to say my family has spoiled me rotten this week, and well always! They always have my back and are willing to help out and step up to help with whatever "pickle" I may have gotten myself into! I am so grateful for them and am dreading having to say "see ya later" to them. I know we will remain in contact but it will be difficult to be so far away from them at the same time. Thanks you guys for all you have done for me and blessing my socks off. I know I am spoiled by each of you --and I recognize that everyone doesn't have family members that will drop whatever they are doing to help another out! Love each of you heaps and bunches!

Progress Has Been Made

Progress has been made towards the goal! On Saturday, July 10th I was able to have a brief conversation with the dear kids I will be caring for over the next year. I met both M and S on Skype! M, dressed head to toe in his Superman outfit, took a little warming up but soon thought it was rather cool to be able to see himself on the computer. S was scared as someone strange was actually talking to her on the computer. Since I was at my brother and sister-in-law’s we showed her their dog, Madison, on the web cam and she thought that was neat! I am looking forward to my time with these two precious little ones!



A week and a half ago I was greeted in the morning with an email that read-“This is to advise that you have been granted an Electronic …visa on 12 July 2010.” I am not going to lie I did a little happy dance at that time but restrained myself from waking up my mom to tell her my visa had been granted! I notified N and she was delighted to hear I could now book my flight. She also told me that they (the family I will be living with) had been approved for the home they wanted so they get the keys this Friday, July 23 so that they can be all moved into the new place before I arrive! The 12th was a great Monday!


I immediately emailed the travel agent I had been working with (Downtown Travel-highly recommended!) and asked her to be looking into flights for me! Today was the day I booked my flight! I will be jumping the big pond in a little over two weeks-time will certainly fly!


My sister tells me the sooner I leave the sooner I come back! The realization of leaving all of my loved ones behind is starting to settle in. I know I have a spectacular support system in Australia and I am very eager to get to see them again; however, it is still going to be very difficult to be so far away from those I love here in the states. I am so thankful for technology these days that will allow me to keep in contact with everyone on the other side of the pond when I go. My family has been set up with Skype, students have created a blog to keep in touch through and for many others email and social networking sites will be used to help stay connected! Please do keep in touch, and let me know how you are doing! It is has always my fear of mine when I go on a overseas I will lose contact of people I hold dear.


What’s next on the list now that I have a ticket? Although I have completely moved out of my place in Hendrum I have a fair share of “moving” to do. I need to finish sorting through some things and find homes for them; as well as having some organizing parts of my life that still need to be done while I am not here—like taxes!! Other than that I am looking forward to enjoying my remaining time by spending time with family and friends!


I am looking for some Midwest gift ideas for the family I will be working for and some people I will be catching up with from my previous time in Australia. Do you have any great Minnesotan or North Dakotan gifts? If so please comment, I would LOVE to hear about any ideas you have! Australia is quite similar to the US in many ways I struggle with finding true “American” items to share with them!

And We Meet...Virtually That Is

I just finished talking (and seeing on a video call) with the family that I will be living with and nannying for starting in August continuing through the next August! I was a bit nervous to meet them as we have only had email conversations in the past and now it was time for the reality of actually "meeting" them and seeing if I met their expectations as well as the reality of someone once a stranger becoming a friend and a large part of my life for the next year and hopefully years to follow! 


Would they like me? Would our personalities mesh? These and many other questions ran through my head as waited for the call to come through. Conversing over e-mail does not allow for body language or a whole lot of personality show through especially when you have never met the person before; what if they expected someone completely different! I soon remembered I am not in control and that it is best that way. I wasn't going to let anxious thoughts ruin my first experience with the family I would soon share my day to day ins and outs with.

I continued to wait...10 minutes passed from the time we had scheduled to Skype. Huh...what was going on? I soon realized I was an hour early...I had miss calculated the time difference forgetting about day light savings...ah bugger!! Another hour to wait...which seemed to pass quite quickly I must admit! Soon the well known sounds of my Skype call rang though! I was welcomed by Narelle and Simon on the other end of the connection!  

Once we started chatting all my nerves and hesitations faded away! I had a blast chatting with Naralle and Simon, getting to know them a little bit! They both seem to like to laugh a lot, have fun and just overall enjoy life.  I left the conversation feeling more excited than before for the adventure that is store, I wish I could just jump on a plane and get it started!! But...oh, wait there are things like plane tickets, health insurance and visas that have to be dealt with yet!

How could I forget such things-believe me I want to forget about them, that would mean they are all taken care of! Some of the little things in the journey to getting to Melbourne are well quite frustrating. However, in the end everything gets done and the journey that comes once they are done is worth the frustration that occurs along the way.  On a positive note, I currently have an international drivers permit in my possession. This was certainly the easiest thing to check of my list of preparations. Say a little prayer I can get all my ducks in a row to have my visa application completed by the end of the week! Once the visa is in my hands (or at least a letter stating I received one) I will book my plane ticket...then reality really will sink in!

I am looking forward to another Skype call the first part of July. It is during this call that I will get to meet the precious children that I will be caring for! I am super excited to get meet them and start to learn about each of them, the things that they love to do, their silly little quirks and habits they might have and just enjoy meeting them in general!

Remember Surrender

Remember surrender Remember the rest Remember the weight lifting off of your chest And realizing that's its not up to you and never was Remember surrender Remember relief Remember how tears rolled off both of your cheeks As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in I want to do that again Why can't I live there And make my home In sweet surrender I want to do so much more than remember Remember surrender Remember peace Remember how soundly you fell fast a sleep In the face of your troubles your future still shone like the morning sun Remember surrender Remember that sound All of those voices inside dying down But one who speaks clearly of helping and healing you deep within I want to do that again Why can't I live there And make my home

In sweet surrender

I want to do so much more than remember

Remember

Oh surrender

Remember Surrender-Sung by Sara Groves

A Lavish Love

A dear sweet friend sent me this in the mail today and it overwhelmed me and encouraged me as I read it and reflected on the love our heavenly father lavishes on each of us.

My Child,

You may not know me,

but I know everything about you.

Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.

Psalm 139:3

even the very hairs on your head are numbered.

Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.

Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.

Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.

Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.

Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.

Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,

for all your days are written in my book.

Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth

and where you would live.

Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14

And brought you forth on the day you were born.

Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented

by those who don't know me.

John 8: 41-44

I am not distant and angry,

but am the complete expression of love.

1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.

1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.

Matthew 5:48

I am the perfect Father.

Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.

James 1:17

For I am your provider and meet all your needs.

Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.

Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless

as the sand on the seashore.

Psalm 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.

Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.

Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you

with all my heart and all my soul.

Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.

Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all of your heart,

you will find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you

the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.

Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you

than you could possibly imagine.

Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you

in all of your troubles.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,

I am close to you.

Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,

I have carried you close to my heart.

Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away

every tear from your eyes.

Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain

you have suffered on this earth.

Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father and I love you

even as I love my son, Jesus.

John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.

John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.

Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,

not against you.

Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression

of my love for you.

1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved

that I might gain your love.

Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,

you receive me.

1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you

from my love again.

Romans 8: 38-39

Come home and I'll through the biggest party

heaven has ever seen.

Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,

and will always be Father.

Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is...

Will you be my child?

John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.

Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

How often is it that God is just simply waiting for us to respond to the love he is offering us...how often do we allow our selves to turn away and say: "Not today, God, tomorrow it will be convenient to be your child...but today I am to busing playing other roles."

Changes

Change, as we all know, is uncomfortable.

-Francis Chan

Throughout this new year I have felt the Lord knocking at my heart asking me to allow him to do some heart surgery and make some changes to my day to day life. I believe God is preparing me for the future and needs to do some softening and pruning in my life during this time of preparations. God has asked me to really look deep into my heart about the choices I have made and the choices I make on a daily basis.

Happy points is one thing I have implemented into my life, along with some friends of mine. Happy Points is our own system to living a healthier lifestyle. You can earn a "happy point" for getting enough sleep each night, drinking enough water, eating healthy and exercising. Many of you may be thinking God didn't ask me to do this-being healthier is a new years resolution that many people work towards each year...true. However, in God's love letter to us it does state that our bodies are temples and we should treat it with respect and care. I am seeking the Lords strength to help me make healthy choices and respect the body he has given me and glorify Him through it all.

Media and it's impact on my life is another change God is asking me to make. While technology is wonderful and I enjoy using it in a variety of ways I place using Facebook, emails, tv and other technology tools higher on my priority list than I should. God had been prodding at my heart for some time before I would even consider what he was asking me to do. I kept making excuses and trying to rationalize my habits...I need technology to do work from home, to keep in touch with dear friends within the US and across the world, to ensure my bills are paid, to make make my budget, etc. God got sick of my excuses and out came his sense of humor...my computer went on the blink a week ago.

The past week has been an eye opener for me not having a functioning lap top. First of all I was able to finish a ton of tasks that I would have other wise postponed. Secondly, I interacted with people in ways I probably wouldn't have. As much as technology helps keep me in contact with my international friends through facebook and skype and even my friends just miles away I have realized how much it has also hinders the ability to maintain authentic relationships. In my lil old apartment in the small town I live in I often feel lonely and this past week has opened my eyes to how much I have relied on technology to provide me with a false sense of companionship...when I could be out and interacting with the people within my real physical world rather than the cyber world, whether that means making some phone calls, sending out cards or meeting up with people.

It has been the plan to cut off from using Facebook as of Feb. 15th and limit the use of other technologies and rely on the "old fashion" ways of communication! I am eager and a bit scared to see how relationships might change as I am not part of the facebook world...as in some cases it is the only way I communicate with people. However, I have realized I will just need to be more intentional about maintaining those relationships. Obviously I am not going to cut out all forms of technology out of my life...but for now somethings just need to be limited. I am looking forward to this change and having some fun with reconnecting with friends in a non-technology intensive manner! We will see how I go!

God is also cultivating in my heart a deeper passion for him and what it truly means to love him and love others as he would. God is doing some wonderful healing and revitalizing my heart. I desire to be a woman after God's own heart-not mans and far to often I detour back trying to please man. God is speaking to me in powerful ways through his word, other books and dear sisters and brothers he has put in my life.

By no means are any of these changes easily done with a simple prayer or a snap of my fingers. Change is an uncomfortable and painful road...whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual pain. I know God, my Father, and he his deep love for me...he only gives me as much as I can handle, his ways are always for the best. He prunes so that the vine may produce fruit in the future. I have prayed for brokenness and know God will answer that prayer. The journey of healing and heart changes isn't a simple road-however, I trust the blessings and growth that occurs through out the journey will far out weigh the pain that might occur during it.

Choices

As a first grade teacher I probably said "you choose" hundreds of times a day...allowing the students to have the power to choose and take responsibility for their actions and reminding them that with each action they choose will influence the rest of their day. Now as a teacher of preteens I am often reminding my students of the choices they make has a direct impact on them.

• What to wear to school
• To eat breakfast or skip it
• To listen in class or not to listen in class
• To be prepared for class or not be prepared
• To do your homework or not to
• To set a positive or negative example to others
• To be respectful to your peers or not
• To study for the test or not to study

Well you get the point. We also talk about how each of these choices brings about a consequence. The consequence can be a positive or negative one...that is up to them to choose which one they would like.

Choices follow us around through life...they don't go away when we graduate from high school. As much as I tell my students they have choices and their choices will make an impact on them later in life, whether it be later in that hour or in the week or the next year, that choice will leave a mark, I have choices too...thousands of them daily that will impact not only my life but the lives of all of those around me.

Although, I have been telling kids for years their choices have an impact, in the past few months I have just come to the realization how much of an impact some choices have had in my life. Some of the choices were choices I made. Others were choices made by individuals that directly or indirectly impacted me and have been part of making me the person I am today. I am glad some of those choices were made, and would never consider reversing them. There are other choices, however, I wished never occurred but I can't turn back time. I can't change the past; but I do have the opportunity to CHOOSE to change my future and change how I allow the choices of the past to influence me.

Today, I am choosing to love others.

Today, I am choosing to look on the bright side.

Today, I am choosing to put relationships first.

Today, I am choosing to think outside the box.

Today, I am choosing to be thankful for the little things.

Today, I am choosing to use my resources more wisely.

Today, I am choosing to allow my Lord and Savior to heal me.

Today, I am choosing to appreciate those God has placed in my life.

Today, I am choosing to look towards the future and not dwindle on the past.

Today, I am choosing to be content where God has me for this time and season in my life.

Today, I am choosing to use the passions that run deep inside me to make a positive impact on the world around me.

Today, I am choosing to let the creator of the Universe hold my hand as I walk through each moment of my life.

Everyone Can Do Something...

Valentines day is a day to show love towards others, whether it be the special someone in your life, a stranger next door,that person who just needs a smile and hug or the child waiting for a pair of shoes in Ethiopia. My friend, Lindsay, wrote a post about the Valentine link that you can find on the side of my blog. You can click the link purchase a valentines t-shirt and in turn you can meet a need for a child across the world! I encourage you to help out someone in need today, whether it is your spouse, close friend, or a stranger in your neighborhood or across the world. We all can do something to make this world a better place.

A Good Word

Here is an incredible promise from the Creator of the Universe I am holding on to. I hope it encourages you as much as it encourages me.

Call on to me and I will answer you and tell you great unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

New Year New Schedule

Turn on the radio, turn on the tv, read a magazine or the news paper around the new year and you read all about the various New Year Resolutions people are making and determined to be successful in. I however, don't typically do well with new year resolutions and tend to feel defeated within the first day to three days at tops. Therefore, I just don't do new year resolutions. I am do, however, try to routinely try to reflect on who I am and the person I am meant to be. At times I become overwhelmed and just point blank depressed when I think about who I am and where I think I should be. Other times I think I am doing okay although I know there is plenty to work on. 2009 was a tough year in many ways. The year was full of challenges and changes along with much joy. As I reflected on 2009 during the weeks and days that lead up to the new year and the days that have already passed within 2010 I realized when the tough times came throughout the year I put many critical and important habits and routines on the back burner and in some cases completely erased them from my life. Habits like getting enough sleep, stopping and just being still, reading or doing other activities for enjoyment, making time to hang out or call and chat with dear friends, and going outside my box to help others in need. I allowed the hard, tough situations to rule my life instead of living my life and preserving through them. In response to my reflections I have created myself a new schedule...in hopes to gain back some of the healthy routines I allowed to fall out of my day to day life. I am not doing this because it is January and I need to have a new years resolution or because someone put me up to it. I have created this new schedule for no other reason besides...I want to. I know there are many things I want to work on as a individual to help me become the person I want to be, to be the person that God desires me to be as a daughter of the King. I want to do what brings me joy and I love doing and some how in the past year I lost many of those things so I want to take them back. I want to challenge myself and push myself farther out of my comfort zone and into the new adventures that God, himself, has planned for me in this time and season. Who knows where I might be by the end of the year! God has great things in store and I am eagerly anticipating what they might be! At times I am fairly anal and like to start things on either the 1st or the 15th of the month; simply because it allows me to feel like I am starting on a crisp clean day. I really want to wait until the 15th because I feel like it will be a better day to start and I am anal but I also realize I can't push this off anymore. Therefore, tomorrow I will start my new schedule tomorrow. I continually tell my students that it takes 30 days to form a routine. Therefore...the next month is going to be the hardest...and I hope I have the ambition and self control to stick to my schedule and routines I have planned as much as possible. So why did I take up an entire post to tell you about my schedule? Well because everyone needs accountability...it is my goal to post at least once a week about how I am doing on keeping my schedule and share more about what the various new habits I am including into my life as well as the old ones I allow to drift out of my life. I encourage you to ask me how I am doing with keeping my schedule! Accountability is so important!